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What if Spider-Man activated his powers in anatomically correct ways? It would probably be hilarious.

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The adventures of Anatomically Correct Spider-Man

As far as I remember, male spiders don't spin a lot of webs anyway, so Anatomically Correct Spider-Man would probably be a woman! (Although I think male spiders CAN spin webs, it's just not something that behaviorally they do a lot?)

Spider-Man! Spider-Man
Poops out silk in sticky strands!
Spins a web, any size!
Sphincter strong as 20 guys!
Look out!
Here comes the Anatomically Correct Spider-Man!